Opinions are not concrete facts.
Just because someone thinks something about you, doesn’t make it true. If someone thinks that you’re unattractive, or conceited, or unintelligent, that doesn’t mean that you are. Nor does it mean that they have any real reason to think that about you. Opinions are subjective. They vary amoung people and they constantly change. What remains the same is that they are NOT facts. Just because someone thinks something or states something, doesn’t make it true. It simply makes it their opinion. Nothing more, nothing less.
Opinions + judgements are often unfounded.
Yes, sometimes we’re correct in our judgements of others, but a lot of the time we’re not. I can’t even tell you how many friends of mine later told me that before they met me, they assumed that I would be a total b*tch. Am I? No. Were those judgements founded? No. Here’s an example of an unfounded judgement: You see a beautiful woman strut into the room with her head up, looking super confident. You assume that she’s conceited, stuck-up, and totally full of herself. You later come to meet her and realize that she’s actually super down to earth and honestly really relatable. Your initial judgement of her wasn’t based on facts, it was a completely unfounded judgement that you made on the spot.
What people think about you says more of them than it does of you.
People who are wildly judgemental or overly critical likely don’t feel that great about themselves. Think back to a time when you felt incredible. Everything in your life was going wonderfully. You felt amazing. Life was good. Did you have time to judge others? Did you use your time to worry about what anyone else was doing? Did you have a bunch of negative energy to direct towards others? Likely not. So imagine how the Negative Nancy’s in the world are feeling about themselves and their own lives when they have so much time to judge, ridicule, or hate others. Get a grip Nancy.
You can’t please everyone.
Seriously, it’s not possible. There will always be someone with something negative or critical to say. No matter how well-intentioned you are, no matter how hard you try, there will always be someone who finds something negative to say. Example: A celebrity makes a SIZEABLE donation to an animal rescue group. A totally kind, generous, helpful thing to do. Some random woman on Twitter, who has likely never made a donation in her life (I’m talking to you Nancy, loosen the purse strings a little, jeez) tweets that the money was a waste because it should have gone to helping children instead. As if we can’t choose to help BOTH children and animals in this world. (*Insert eye roll here*). Point in case, you can’t please everyone. So stop trying.
A lot of people actually don’t care as much as we think they do.
You know “all” of those people whose opinions you care about? They likely aren’t watching you as closely as you think. In fact, they might not even care about what you’re doing at all. This one can be tough on the ego, but try not to take it to heart. Sometimes we think our audience is a lot larger than it is, but in reality there aren’t as many people focused in on us as we had thought. Why? Because people are busy focusing on themselves and on their own lives. (Or at least they should be.) A couple years ago if a friend had called me with gossip about someone I probably would have engaged, especially if it was about someone that I wasn’t too fond of. However, nowadays I’ve learned to focus more on improving myself and less on critiquing the way that others conduct their lives. I just generally don’t care as much about things that have no direct impact on my life. “Oh, so-and-so is cheating on her boyfriend that I’ve never met or even heard of?” “Omg, so-and-so got fired from her job that I didn’t know she had because we haven’t spoken in 3 years?” Yawn, not interested. Next.
When our lives are ruled by the opinion’s of others, we willingly relinquish power that should be ours.
When someone’s opinion of you matters more to you than your own opinion of yourself, you give them power over your thoughts and feelings – a power that should belong to you, and only you. If the only time you feel good about yourself is if or when you are being praised by others, then you’ve given them the power to control how you feel, because your happiness is dependent upon an outside source. Likewise, if someone’s negative or critical opinion is enough to make you feel poorly about yourself, then again, you are relinquishing your power and allowing your happiness (or unhappiness) to be contingent upon an outside source. You are in control of your thoughts and feelings, so take back your power – it was always yours to begin with.
Be you. Do you. The people who truly matter will support you no matter what. And the people who don’t matter are probably arguing with strangers in the comment section of a Facebook post right now. Haters gonna hate y’all. (Also, my apologies to any Nancy’s reading this.)